Last night, I was in tears, again. I'm a crybaby. I cry at movies, but I cry uncontrollably when I feel like my vision is vulnerable. Rationally, I understood the purpose of the laser treatment was to prevent a retina detachment in my right eye, but irrationally, I can't help but want to shield my "good eye" from any procedures. Sure, my left retina (surgery eye) is still attached, and my vision has mostly returned, except for the cloudiness of the cataract. Still, my left eye is not so useful on its own. I need my "good eye" (right eye) to keep seeing 20/20 (corrected, of course - without contacts or glasses, I can't see the lines in my own palm more than a foot away from my face). The idea of putting lasers in my good eye just paralyzed me last night. I stalled on going to bed and made myself sick with anxiety.
After sleeping on it, I felt better this morning, but the closer it got to my appointment time, the more the butterflies danced in my stomach. We were early for my appointment, and since the doctors were running behind, we were in the waiting room just over an hour. My anxiety was rising with every minute, so by the time the tech gave me the scary waiver to sign, acknowledging the procedure could result in some vision loss, I couldn't help but tear up. At least I didn't start sobbing like I did when I signed the waiver for my RD surgery for my left eye!
After more waiting, my surgeon finally came into the "Procedure Room." (Really, the sign said "Procedure Room," like that made me feel more at ease!) I am so thankful for Dr. Sharma's patient and calm demeanor. He explained what he was going to do, how it would feel, and how long it would take. I was still nervous, but I was empowered with knowledge. I said a quick prayer, asking for God to give me the strength to just sit still and not cry and trust that He would use my doctor to heal my eye. Though it was uncomfortable, it took less than 5 minutes. My vision was blurry but useful enough to send a quick text message to my fiancé to let him know it was all over. I was so thankful - thankful the procedure was done but even more thankful that my vision was useful so soon after. I go back in 3 months for a follow up appointment, but tonight, I feel like I can finally exhale. My left eye is "99.9%" strong, and with this laser treatment, my right eye should be just as strong. I am hopeful the worst is finally behind me.
After sleeping on it, I felt better this morning, but the closer it got to my appointment time, the more the butterflies danced in my stomach. We were early for my appointment, and since the doctors were running behind, we were in the waiting room just over an hour. My anxiety was rising with every minute, so by the time the tech gave me the scary waiver to sign, acknowledging the procedure could result in some vision loss, I couldn't help but tear up. At least I didn't start sobbing like I did when I signed the waiver for my RD surgery for my left eye!
After more waiting, my surgeon finally came into the "Procedure Room." (Really, the sign said "Procedure Room," like that made me feel more at ease!) I am so thankful for Dr. Sharma's patient and calm demeanor. He explained what he was going to do, how it would feel, and how long it would take. I was still nervous, but I was empowered with knowledge. I said a quick prayer, asking for God to give me the strength to just sit still and not cry and trust that He would use my doctor to heal my eye. Though it was uncomfortable, it took less than 5 minutes. My vision was blurry but useful enough to send a quick text message to my fiancé to let him know it was all over. I was so thankful - thankful the procedure was done but even more thankful that my vision was useful so soon after. I go back in 3 months for a follow up appointment, but tonight, I feel like I can finally exhale. My left eye is "99.9%" strong, and with this laser treatment, my right eye should be just as strong. I am hopeful the worst is finally behind me.
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