I have always been a person who dreams in vivid, life-like color. Often, my dreams are bizarre and disjointed, but I wake up and try to recount them to my fiancé anyway, which usually yields a few of his hearty chuckles. My post-surgery dreams have not changed. I still "see" everything in bright color, but the difference now is that I wake up more disappointed than entertained.
When I wake up, I can only see well with one eye because my left eye still has this obnoxious gas bubble. I sit up in my bed again and realize that my waking sight is far inferior to the "sleeping sight" in my dreams. In my dreams, I can still drive a car. Recently, I had a dream that I was riding a Vespa, something I have never actually done in real life and something I may never be able to try if my vision does not improve significantly. Most mornings begin this way, with the harsh jolt of reality and at least a small dose of depression.
Then, I have to coax myself into the will to shower and start my day. I manually remind myself of all the things for which and people for whom I can be thankful. To be sure, I have many blessings, and when I recount them, I feel guilty for my daily pity parties. I long for the morning when I wake up more appreciative than disappointed, almost as much as I long to have my pre-surgery vision back in my left eye.
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